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Motorway lorries.

Even though big trucks are slow, sometimes even these rumbling behemoths come up against a vehicle blocking their way. Tesco needs its baked beans delivered, but there’s an old guy in an ancient car in the way, a guy who doesn’t realise he has more than one gear. Or worse, it’s another truck. But whatever the obstacle,the truck is about to leave the slow lane and enter the middle one. Right in your path. You’re in the middle lane because you don’t have a big BMW, and only big beemers are allowed there.

 

If the truck is passing a car, the wait isnt that bad. The truck will inch past and slip left. You might not even have time to get angry.

 

If it’s passing another truck, get the packed lunch out. Thus is gonna be like watching North and South America race each other towards Britain. And you’re stuck behind them because the fast lane is a deathtrap as beemers carrying reps fly past like cannonballs.

 

I have a solution, and it’s very simple. The lamp posts in the central reservation. Rip them out and replace them with big iron ones ten feet tall and extending right across the fast and middle lanes. No headroom for a truck. Force them to abandon their snail races and play the Congo game instead.

 

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