Hot Dogs.

They come in packets of eight round my way, but the rolls are in sixes. The theory is that you see two dogs in the fridge and no rolls in the bread basket and immediately rush out for more rolls. Then you end up with four rolls and no dogs and the panic hits again. The cycle repeats and before long the doctors are talking about bariatric surgery if you want to live another five years.

     Does this trick really work? I’ve heard obese people blame water retention or big bones. I’ve heard them say they can’t help but eat late at night and that their job makes them eat out a lot. No one’s ever said they’re busting the scales because they ran out of hotdog rolls.

     And if it does work, pay attention you dope dealers! With eat bag of ganja, give away eight cigarette papers but only six filters!  You guys selling knocked-off booze,  sell a twenty-shot mojito bottle and give away eighteen slices of lime. And watch the cash roll in