Pregnancy pain. In any way downplay the gravity of the pain and suffering a woman endures during childbirth and you risk the wrath of the woman in question and any others of her ilk within earshot. One or more will immediately  try to explain what the pain is like with an example. You’ll be told to imagine what it would be like to have a basketball or other similar sized item yanked out of your arse.

Why? A woman’s internal mechanisms adapt and move and expand to allow childbirth. Arses don’t do that to eject basketballs.

Men don’t give birth, they say, so we can’t possibly know the suffering involved. Men couldnt handle such pain, they say. Well women don’t have balls hanging on the outside that can catch a kick.  They don’t know the horror. So lets ham it up for revenge’s sake. Tell them they can’t possibly imagine what it’s like. Beats childbirth. We will say, “Imagine having a wrecking ball on fire smash into your nose a million times in one second.” And to press the point, the next time the twins catch a glancing blow, scream in agony and roll around moaning for a whole day. And act sick for a week. Pretend you lost the ability to walk – forever. Live in a wheelchair, it’ll be worth it to score a point!

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